It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
