Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
