how can u be prego again
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
