I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My vagina just recognized that song.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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