Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
