I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
