If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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