We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
