That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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