just come out here and I will go home with you...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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