soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
