Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
