who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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