is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
