you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
