i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
