butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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