He kissed a someone with a penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
