If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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