I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
