Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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