so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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