The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
