You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
