Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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