This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
