We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
