So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
