There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
