I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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