did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
