just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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