Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
