Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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