It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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