I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
