Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
