I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
