Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
being pregnant is like rehab
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
