I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
