I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
