just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
