no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
