How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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