There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
