Me. At least after what I've been through.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
