I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
