shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
