at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Randomize
