I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
