She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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