marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
